There are many alluring draws and upsides to being in a secret relationship. There is a different kind of thrill, excitement, passion, and exhilaration that comes with being in a relationship that you have to keep on the down low. However, there are also plenty of drawbacks and dangers that come along with it as well. Is it really worth all of the excitement? Is the risk of being in a secret relationship worth all of the benefits? Well, only you can decide that for yourself. But it always pays to have a more holistic and profound view on the matter.
Sure, when you’re just starting out in a secret relationship, it can all feel so mysterious and exciting. The uncertainty of it all is really thrilling to you. It’s as if you’re taking a page out of a Hollywood script with the way that you’re carrying out your relationship. When you are planning for dates, you always make sure to do so in the most obscure places where no one would ever suspect you to go.
You input fake names into both your mobile phones so that no one ever really knows who is calling or texting you. It’s all so exciting. It’s all so brand new to you and that’s part of the appeal. However, over time, you will start to realize that maintaining a secret relationship can seem more like an unnecessary chore than anything else. You are really forced to confront the reasons for you keeping your relationship on the down low because it is really compromising your sense of well-being.
1. You are potentially jeopardizing the future of the relationship.
When you are always keeping your relationship as a secret, then you are essentially putting a stranglehold on your own relationship. You are putting a cap on how much you can be intimate with one another. Remember that being able to grow and develop as a couple can only be done if you are able to confront what you really are and how you really feel.
And when you keep your relationship a secret, you are essentially living a lie out with one another. You are being dishonest about your relationship and as a byproduct, you are inhibiting its own growth. One of the most important aspects of sustaining a relationship is building trust. And there is very minimal trust in a relationship where lying an deceit is just far too prevalent.
2. Maintaining a secret relationship can potentially damage other relationships once everything is revealed.
A lot of times, a secret relationship is a brainchild of a person’s fears and insecurities that haven’t been confronted or addressed. Perhaps, you are in a position where you think the people closest to you wouldn’t be supportive of the relationship that you’re in.
Maybe you are too insecure to believe that your friends and family would be happy for you being in love with someone. You really have to be able to give those closest to your heart the benefit of the doubt. At the end of the day, they will be more hurt by the deception and the lying that you have been doing. You shouldn’t be keeping the ones you love in the dark like that – especially when it comes to news as important as this.
3. Secret relationships can cause severe damage on your self-esteem.
As has been concluded by scientists and experts on the field, maintaining a secret relationship can have negative effects on the human psyche. It is the same thing as failing to acknowledge the parts of your life and personality that are actually worth being proud of. You should never be made to feel like you have to hide the most beautiful arts of yourself.
You shouldn’t be thinking that you aren’t allowed to let your light shine just so other people won’t look at you funny. Maintaining a secret relationship is essentially you letting your fears and insecurities get the best of you. You are only going to isolate yourself even further by doing this; and it’s not healthy for your emotional sanity.
At the end of the day, you should take a long hard look at why you and your partner would want to keep your relationship a secret. Is the deceit really necessary? Or are you just putting up with this all for the thrill and excitement that it brings? The truth is that you really just have to accept the truth: the right relationships are not made to be kept in the dark. The only acceptable reason as to why you would want to keep a relationship secret would be if your relationship is the wrong kind. And if that’s the case, you shouldn’t have to be putting up with it anymore. That’s the kind of relationship that you need to just be walking away from.