Dating doesn’t come as naturally to some people as it does with other. And if you’re reading this article, chances are you haven’t had much love in dating yourself and you need some kind of guide to steer you back on the right track. Of course, there is no handbook that is surely going to guarantee positive results in love; but you should always be doing your part in putting yourself in the best position possible to find true love in your life. And that all starts with making sure that you don’t commit any cardinal sins of dating. Here are 13 common mistakes that you might be making which are killing your chances at finding love in your life.
1. YOU GO INTO A FIRST DATE WITH SOMEONE WITH REALLY HIGH EXPECTATIONS.
Relax. It’s the first date. Just because you’re just about to go out with someone doesn’t mean that you have to be planning the lives that you’re going to share together as a couple. Take it one step at a time. There’s no need to rush. Falling in love really isn’t something that you can force right at the get-go.
2. YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO WAIT BEFORE YOU CAN BE READY TO DATE.
There is never really a “right time” to go out and date. You can make all the excuses you want; but it’s not impossible for anyone to find love at any given time. No matter how busy, unprepared, or unlucky you might be feeling, you can always find love if you make an effort to do so.
3. YOU DATE SOMEONE WHILE FOCUSING ON THE RESULTS AND NOT THE PROCESS.
Love is as much a process as it is an end-result. And you need to understand that. When you date someone, focus on getting to know one another; don’t be jumping right to ideas of commitment and relationships. Take things easy. Don’t rush it.
4. YOU REFUSE TO STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE WHEN MEETING NEW PEOPLE.
You can’t make the mistake of thinking that you’re eventually going to find love by just continuing to stay in your comfort zone. You need to be able to explore aspects of life that you don’t typically explore. You have to realize that love can come at you from even the most unexpected places.
5. YOU ONLY STICK TO A PERFECT CHECKLIST WHEN CHOOSING A PARTNER.
Be adaptable. Be flexible. Sure, you want to be able to find the soulmate that you’ve been dreaming up for yourself since forever. But you need to be flexible. You need to realize that the perfect soulmate doesn’t exist; and that you really need to learn how to manage your expectations and standards reasonably.
6. YOU GIVE UP EVEN AFTER THE FIRST REJECTION.
Don’t let a failed attempt at love keep you down. Yes, it can hurt your feelings; but you also need to understand that people rarely ever get it right the first time. You need to persevere. You need to know that love is a grind; and that it’s going to require a lot of persistence.
7. YOU DON’T REALLY GET CREATIVE WHEN THINKING OF A DATE.
You don’t have to be going out on the same stereotypical kind of date al of the time. Learn to mix things up. Get creative. Go out and see a movie together. Go for a hike out into the wilderness. Take a yoga class together. Really try to diversify your activities so that you can gauge one another in different settings. It’s also a great way to break redundancy and keep things interesting.
8. YOU TRY TO TURN YOURSELF INTO AN IDEALIZED VERSION OF YOURSELF INSTEAD OF BEING GENUINE.
Don’t act fake. It’s not a good look on you. It’s never right to be trying too hard to be someone you’re not; and you’re going to end up alienating people instead of attracting them.
9. YOU CENTER THE CONVERSATION AROUND YOURSELF A LOT.
Don’t be so naïve so as to think that your partner wants to only talk about yourself when you date. Always try to make the conversation revolve around a variety of things; yourself included. Yes, you can talk about your life but you also need to be able to show that you aren’t self-centered; that you can discuss topics that don’t concern you.
10. YOU LET A BUDDING RELATIONSHIP GET IN THE WAY OF OTHER IMPORTANT ASPECTS OF LIFE.
Yes, it can be really exhilarating whenever you’re developing a rapport with someone you’re just meeting. However, that shouldn’t be taken to mean that you can just ignore all the other facets and relationships of your life. You still need to dedicate time to your career, family, and other friendships.
11. YOU TAKE A PASSIVE APPROACH TO DATING.
You think that love is just eventually going to come to you; and so you just sit and wait. You believe that taking a passive approach to dating is fine because love is going to knock at your door when it’s supposed to. But that’s not how it works. You always need to be actively pursuing love.